


On The Edge

by mingomangomongo



Category: INFINITE (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23790664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mingomangomongo/pseuds/mingomangomongo
Summary: He's standing on the edge.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 2





	On The Edge

**Author's Note:**

> A ventfic, because of the people who have made me feel as though my feelings are invalidated. A ventfic, because of the feelings I have and don't have and can't talk about.
> 
> Warning for suicide.

He stands on the edge, sandwiched between falling off and being safe on solid ground. 

It's the little things that push and pull him; not the ones that are uttered by passing strangers, but by the people that he ~~knows~~ _**thinks**_ care. Things that are intended to be funny or joking or even reassuring are not, they cut deep like sharp knives and there are times that he wishes they were knives, knives that he could use to end his own suffering. 

But at the same time it's a foolish thought. They are merely words, they are merely teasing, he is sensitive and emotional _**and overreacting and invalid and foolish and**_ — 

The words he hears himself uttering have become gasped out and sharp, the only things he can hear. And he can see nothing, because the world has turned blurry and everything's too warm, his face is the warmest and maybe those are tears but even he cannot tell. 

Sometimes he tries to talk but he always cries.

So he resorts to saying nothing at all. 

His small hints go over the heads of the very ones who hurt him in the first place— ** _shut up, it wasn't their intention, stop being pathetic, stop being sensitive, stop seeking attention just stopstopstop_** —and he sometimes finds himself in the bathroom in the tub, or with a razor blade in his hand but he never goes as far as he knows he needs to. 

**_You just want attention. If you didn't you'd go all the way._ **

It's toxic and he doesn't know it's toxic because he feels invalid and he feels sensitive and he gets set off by **_small_** things and why should he be around them when he doesn't deserve them? 

He slowly begins to distance himself. 

**_No one would cry for you._ **

He believes the voices that talk to him, his own voice, his own thoughts and own beliefs and he never reaches for help because he can't make himself talk about it and ** _his feelings aren't valid_** and his hints are never understood because they're _**ambiguous**_ and _**empty**_ and never quite words.

He's no longer standing on the edge. 


End file.
